If I Die Tonight
by noir raven dravenwood
Summary: If I die tonight don't forget me, and remember that I love you.


Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss

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I stared at Ken happily munching on his apple slices as I entered our plain tiled kitchen. The sunlight was streaming in thought the windows and he looked peacefully happy just standing in the warm sunlight crunching away on the sweet treat. The brightly colored leaves still clinging to the trees changed the light slightly giving everything a warm homey glow. I nodded to Ken as I stepped in pulling out my mug and grabbing the kettle and when I turned to fill it with water I was greeted with a bitten off apple slice. Ken always shared food he had already eaten off of or drinks he had already drunk from, in his own way it was his way of bonding with us but some times it feels strange to have him that close to be sharing something like that with him. In my mind it makes me feel like in some way I'm kissing him though I know he'll never see it that way. "It's really good Aya you should stop looking at it so intensely and just take a bite." I open my mouth and let the sweet fruit slip past my lips and bite down running my tongue along the marks Ken's teeth have made then slowly start to chew. "See it's good." I nod once and go fill the pot with water then put it on the stove to boil.

The kitchen is quiet for a while and I just stand and think about the boy standing close to me until the whistling of my pot breaks me from my dreams like the shrill call of my alarm does every morning. I pour some water into my mug and pull out another one and pour some water into that then put a tea bag in each and go about looking for the honey for Ken's tea. He likes it sweet but he hates sugar while I like it plain and bitter so I always put honey in the tea for him. "What are you looking for Aya?" I turn and look at him then notice the honey sitting innocently next to him on the counter and quickly walk over picking it up and pouring some into his tea and mixing it. He grabs the honey back and smiles a bit shyly and puts it on an apple slice and I blink at him so he just smiles and winks. "One of my guilty little pleasures." He grins and takes a bite and his eyes close in joy and I just stand watching his every move. His eyes flutter open and he holds the honey covered apple slice to my lips and I open them with out really thinking and chomp down nipping at the end of Ken's fingers and close my eyes savoring the sweet yet crisp flavor. "It's good ne?" I nod and he smiles brightly and I feel my self grow weak. There is no hidden pain in that smile like normal it's just pure joy and a slight hint of amusement. "Well don't tell the others because it will be our little secret snack." I nod and hand him the cup of tea and he smiles brightly and takes a sip.

Ken leaves and I stand staring at where he once was replaying the whole thing in my mind then take the honey and pour it in my tea and sip it slowly. The sweet yet bitter taste makes me tingle all over and I know why Ken loves it so much. I turn and find Yohji staring at me oddly so I go into the living room where Ken is watching the soccer game eating his apple and drinking the tea I made for him as if nothing happened, but then again I guess nothing did happen to him at least; it was all normal for Ken but he just shook up my whole world. I sit and pull out my book and he glances at me and goes back to watching the soccer game and lounging on the couch with out a care in the world and no thoughts above who will win the match. My mind swirls around him and all my thoughts and longing for him. I don't know when it happened but slowly I started to long for Ken, his warmth, his heart, his smile to all be mine to covet and hold close to my heart. I sigh deeply and Ken looks at me again and smiles. "This is a really good game. What are you reading?" I look at him and slowly realize I've been somewhat staring at him for a while. "Just a book." He snorts but smiles anyway. "I can see as much. Is it any good?" I shrug and look at what I'm reading and shake my head. "Not really." He looks amused by it all and just shakes his head. "Then why brother reading it?" I shrug and he goes back to the game. "What's it about?" I look at him and he is faced away from me but he wouldn't have asked if he didn't care. "A man who desperately longs for another but sadly can't have them because they are friends, teammates if you will in a war." Ken turns to me shifting a little so our knees are brushing. "It sounds good. What happens do they fall in love? Does this guy who is longing for his teammate tell him or does the other confess first?" I shrug and he pouts slightly. "I have no idea. If I had to guess I would say he keeps it quiet and when the war ends they will go their separate ways because I doubt the other feels the same way." Ken looks at me strangely and sighs. "That's horrible. How will he ever know if the other feels the same way or not if he never tells him. For all he knows the other person could feel exactly the same way but is just shy and inscure about it because he's been hurt and is afraid of rejection." I look at Ken who's eyes are intense and so deep I feel myself falling. "But the other person treats him the same way he does every one else." Ken shrugs still looking at me but moves a bit closer. "It may seem that way if he just looks at what is in plain site, but there are smaller simpler things he might do for the other that he just isn't taking the time to look at." I nod and Ken blushes suddenly and stands leaving me alone.

I have no clue how long I sit there just going over what ken said over and over in my mind. I have no idea if he was hinting at something or if he was just talking. It doesn't matter it will drive me insane if I don't do something. I have been longing for Ken for a year now and I know I have fallen hopelessly in love with him and I just want to be near him. I stand and quickly make my way up the stairs and bump into Omi. "What did you do to Ken-kun?" I blink at him but say nothing waiting for him to elaborate. "He's locked himself in his room and won't come out. Go fix this Aya." I nod and move to Ken's door and stare at Omi till he heads down the stairs and knock softly. "Go away Omi I'm not upset I'm just tired." I feel the corners of my mouth curl and I knock again and Ken throws open the door and looks at me. "Can I come in Ken?" He nods and steps to the side then closes the door behind me and I turn to face him and run a hand gently down his cheek to his neck then on down his arm till I'm holding his hand in my own. His eyes are wide and his mouth slightly parted and he looks so beautiful. Both hands cup his sweet face and I moved forward so I'm but a whisper away from him. His head tilts to the side slightly and I take that as my hint and close the distance that seprates us and kiss him softly with all the love in my heart. He arches into me and one hand glides through his hair and settles on the back of his scull while my other hand slides down his arm then wraps around his waist so I'm just holding him loosely giving him a chance for freedom if he so desires.

Ken pulls away and I release him and he stares at me eyes wide and filled with hope or fear I'm not sure which because I never was good at reading people but at this moment I know I'll do what ever Ken asks of me. If he wants me to leave I will join a different group and he will never see or hear from me again. I stare at him and he tenderly touches his lips still looking at me. "Aya why?" He whispers softly and I hang my head. "I love you Ken. I have for so long then down stairs you said all those things and I thought you loved me too." It's quiet and I glance up at him and next thing I know he is in my arms kissing me and tears are falling on my neck. He pulls back slightly and buries his face in my neck and his body shakes with tears and I pull him closer not sure what to do. "Aya I've loved you for so long I can't even remember. I thought you were playing with me. I love you Aya." Tears fill my eyes and I bury my face in his fair hair and we cry together. "I love you too Ken, with all my heart and soul. Please koi call me Ran." He nods and we kiss again holding on to one another like there is no tomorrow.

We move to the bed kissing just holding one another close and fall into the soft mattress. I pull away and kiss away some of Ken's tears and nuzzle his neck then find his lips and kiss him lovingly. Our mouths move together in a simple dance and I have found heaven in Ken's arms. We both pull away from the kiss and just snuggle into one another and I sigh happily. "I love you Ken." He smiles and snuggles into my chest sighing in contentment. "I love you too Ran." I smile as my name falls from his lips and pull him close just soaking up his warmth. I file this moment away in my mind because he might not be here tomorrow night then again I might not live to see a new day our next mission either so what ever moments we are able to steal I will cherish and live over in my mind. "Will you stay Ran, tonight I mean will you stay with me?" I nod and he smiles wrapping his arms around me and holding me close just breathing in my scent and I take in his commiting that to memory as well. The smell of the winter's cold mixed with the apples of autum, the flowers of spring and the fresh cut grass of summer. He is everything I love about every season rolled into one just hinted with the tang of copper and something uniquely spicy. I burry my nose into his silken locks and let my hands run over velvet skin trying to get as much of him as I can as time slowly slips away.

I must have drifted off at some point because a soft knock on the door rouses me and I have to blink several times to figure out where I am and then I spot Ken sound asleep cuddled into me his face relaxed and sweet. He's so beautiful I could lay here forever and just watch him. I file this moment away in my mind so I can lay and watch Ken sleep in my sweetest dreams but the moment is lost by the door cracking open and Omi looking over us and smiling softly. "Manx is here." I nod and look back to Ken then to Omi. "Give us a few moments we'll be right down." Omi nods and shuts the door with a soft click and I flutter loving kisses over my sweet ones face. Ken squirms a bit but his beautiful eyes flutter open and he smiles at me and we share the sweetest of all kisses. Ken we need to go down stairs." He nods and we both stand heading into the basement.

All of us, Weiss, stands a top a genltle sloping hill as the wind whips around us and the full glassy face of the moon lights our way. We are ready to go but I pull Ken back as the other two head down the hill and to the last place our target will ever be. "Ken if I die tonight please don't forget me." He looks at me strangely then throws his arms around me kissing me deeply. "Never Ran never. If I die tonight promise you'll still love me and hold me in your heart even if you move on." I feel the first tears since my sister was put into a coma start to well in my eyes and swallow once hard. "I'll love you for forever Ken and no one will be able to take your place in my heart or fill my soul the way you do." We share a simple soft kiss again and I pull him into my arms just so I can hold him for one last time if that's what fate chooses this to be.

After I finish I sit outside and wait and watch the others come from the building and pull Ken into my arms when he is close enough to reach and kiss him deeply. He smiles and we head up the hill to where our car is waiting. Yohji drives and Omi sits in the front while Ken and I are in the back just clinging to one another and kissing softly every so often. "Aya would you like to shower with me?" Ken asks softly a sweet blush coloring his tanned cheeks. I nod and kiss him deeply just resting my forehead on his. "I'd love to Ken." He smiles with so much innocence my heart feels as if it will melt but it's too late because Ken has already melted me inside and out. It was late when we returned home and I let the others take the shower first then Ken and I slipped into the still hot water and we began to kiss and touch but never daring to go below the waist until Ken pull away and looked at me with all the open honesty that was in him. "Aya, Ran I'm yours for what ever you want me for. My heart, soul, mind, and body all belong to you so you can do with me as you please." I pull him close and crush my lips to his in a deep loving kiss while I take that moment and save it in my mind and the first tears I have cried since the night my family died slip from my eyes form the pure joy of just being with Ken and knowing he is mine. "And I am yours Ken to do with as you please. Everything I have to offer is yours of the taking and you can keep what you whish and despose of what you hate. I am at you mercy because you have had my heart and soul since the fist time we met." We then hold one another for a long moment and slowly we wash one another using that time to fully explore each others bodies and it is perfect.

That night I sleep in Ken's bed Ken curled into my side one arm draped loosely around me. I cry several more times through the night just from the pure joy of having Ken so close and loving him so much. It's at this time I know I'd die with out Ken, I'd have killed myself long ago if it weren't for Ken's smile and his heart that shines in his eyes only for me. It's in this night that I realize if he had died tonight I would have fallowed shortly behind him. It's at this time I realize that I'll never be able to love another as I do him and it's at this time I realize that my life has been empty till now.

That morning I woke with the sun and plan to hold Ken till we have to work at noon. He woke some time around ten his eyes still heavy with sleep but his smile sweet and kiss kisses feather light and loving. I kiss him and we continue to do so till we have to get dressed and eat something. It's sad because I am no longer in the warm comfy bed with Ken instead I'm in hell with the fangirls who are currently trying to molest my love. I move over to him quickly and pull him into my arms then glare at the girls but pull my koi in for a deep kiss and the shop goes quiet. "Ken and I are together meaning if you don't like it get out and if you try touching him again I really will kick you out an ban you from the Koneko for life. Do I make my self clear?" The girls nod and I smile slightly and kiss Ken again just because I can and his lips are too tempting to pass up.


End file.
